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[Theredbaron]

This farmer has about 200 hens, but no rooster and he wants chicks. So, he goes down the road to the next farmer and asks if he has a rooster. The other farmer says, "Yeah, I've got this great rooster, named Ferrous; he'll service every chicken you've got. No problem."

Well , Ferrous the rooster is a lot of money, but the farmer decides he'd be worth it. So , he buys Ferrous. The farmer takes Ferrous home and sets him down in the barnyard, giving the rooster a pep talk, " Ferrous, I want you to pace yourself now. You've got a lot of chickens to service here and you cost me a lot of money and I'll need you to do a good job. So, take your time and have some fun," the farmer said with a chuckle.

Ferrous seemed to understand, so the farmer points towards the hen house and Ferrous took off like a shot ~WHAM~ He nails every hen on there THREE or FOUR times and the farmer is just shocked. Ferrous runs out of the hen house and sees a flock of geese down by the lake ~WHAM~ He gets all the geese. Ferrous's up in the pigpen. He's in with the cows. Ferrous is jumping on every animal the farmer owns.

The farmer is distraught, worried that his expensive rooster won't even last the day. Sure enough, the farmer goes to bed and wakes up the next day to find Ferrous dead as a doorknob in the middle of the yard. Buzzards are circling overhead.

The farmer, saddened by the loss of such a colorful animal , shakes his head and says, "Oh, Ferrous, I told you to pace yourself. I tried to get you to slow down, now look what you've done to yourself." Ferrous opens one eye, nods towards the sky and say's , "Shhh. They're getting closer...."








...Ok, so I changed it a bit. But this thing made me laugh so much. Freaking awesome. Laugh every time I reread it.